My Troubles

Haven't been bloggging for a long time. Can't remember when was the last time I posted an update, but i guess no one visits this site anyhow.

I have a ton of work to complete by tmr but here I am, wanting to blog. Wanting to let my feelings out. Because I feel so trapped by this so called situations. Yes, I do have choices but I cannot make the choices because it will affect someone greatly. And I can't leave her alone with him.

Sometimes hates fill me up so much that words can't describe it. I heard that the word despise is worst than the word hate. I find it funny that i hate him so much that it makes me cry.. Not sure why i cry....is it because I hate him so much till crying is the only option of letting my grief out or am i crying because i hate the fact that the way he treats us, esp her. I hate him because he has no respect for others except for himself. I hate him because now i see his fugly truth ~ the truth that I didn't wanna see before.

I hate him so much because he is a fear to me. I just hate him because i have totally no respect for him anymore. So on most days, i just despise him and i have no feelings for him. I don't want to talk to him simply because i can't stand talking to someone who absolutely have no respect for others and furthermore have to put up with his behaviour and rage.

I need out. I really need out. Laast night i realise i can't do this anymore. I need a way out. But I can't make this decision solely for myself. I need to make the choice of out for everyone.

I need out.