Life with Eczema

I found this article that was sitting under a pile of books just now while i was reading my articles (for my presentation). It's title is exactly the same as my title. I am not sure, but I've read it again and suddenly this woman, did go through exactly what i went through; emotions and all. I'd like to share a few inner thoughts from this article, as I felt she did everyone who was going through that, justice. The article parallels with my feelings & thoughts deeply for a long time. I've been waiting for a voice for so ever long.


IT'S THE GOOD DAYS THAT MAKE YOU REALISE just what it feels like to be normal.

Most eczema sufferers would have their doctors telling them that the condition would stop by the time they are in their teens. Most often, this is true. When I was little, i'd only had eczema on my feet and hands. As I gradually grow up, eczema on my feet disappeared but still left its trademarks on my hands. What I mean by this is, the conditions/symptoms of the so called eczema are no long experienced, but dry flaky or peeling skin are still here. Typical characteristics of eczema are severely dry, flaky and cracked skin. The skin breaks easily and once it's broke, it's difficult to heal (taking about a month to 3 months to gradually heal back to be 'normal' again) but the cycle occurs again maybe 1-2 weeks, 3 weeks if i'm lucky. And then it's the ITCH that accompanies it. Fortunately, I don't think eczema came back as often as when i was younger but the once in a blue moon, my hands would feel weird (itchy/painful) and i knew what was coming again.

Anyways, needless to say, I envy people with normal skin. It must also be really nice never to worry about your skin being rough when you meet people. Sometimes my skin is so dry that it's a pain in the ass just to touch water, as it hurts. Simple tasks such as washing the dishes can be excruciating. My doctor from Brunei (ages ago) gave me med which contain steroids in them, as my skin on my hands were so bad that it needed something to help it heal. I am thankful that my hands nowadays are not as bad as when i was younger. Oh my, I remember how i went at scratching at it and I would feel so bad but i couldn't stop, because scratching it just felt so good :$.

People's reactions
Sometimes i know people mean well, but sometimes i feel that they are just being rude. Maybe I am too sensitive. Sometimes strangers or even friends, have the 'gasp of surprise' and look on with disgust and curiosity. You can almost see the thought bubble above their heads "What's wrong with this girl? Doesn't she take care of herself?" Although this statement is unfair in certain ways, I know that this is true for some. It's sad to say but it's true.

Determination
I'd be lying if i said that my eczema doesn't dent my self esteem and self confidence. As a teenager, I would draw back from people, afraid of what they might think. There are always doubts of whether someone will accept me for who I am. It's a negative battle that I'd always have to fight with.

I do know there are other people worse off than me. I know I am very thankful for who and what I've become today. To this day, eventhough my eczema has quieten down significantly, I'd still have to live with the constant dermatitis (i think dermatitis has taken over eczema and sometimes eczema do come back to visit once in a blue moon on my hands). But I am very thankful to God about it. I have no choice but to live with what's given to me at birth, but I have a choice of how i cope with the daily interactions and my attitude and thoughts. I try not to let people dampen my spirits because I know, in the end, i cannot change what i am. In the end, it's up to me to make a difference for the sake of myself.