I am upset. I thought I can handle it; I thought I can cope with it; I thought I will be fine. But why do new information upsets me? When I have thought I have gotten over old information with similar circumstances? I am upset. My heart sinks to the bottom. I can't help the way I feel.

Am i a person who contradict myself? Sometimes i feel i am. I'd like to think myself as an open minded person. But in some situations, I feel i am a hypocrite. Liberal versus conservative. I would say I am liberal and open minded about things, but when that applies to me, I would prefer conservative. What the heck? So why am I contradicting myself?

Life sometimes is not so black and white. It has grey patches. Most of the time, it is grey. I am lost in the grey.

I don't know WHY I am upset. I am upset at certain news, but why I am feeling the way I am feeling, it's just beyond words. Or maybe I am hesitant in saying the truth. Sometimes I think if i keep blocking out the reasons why i am feeling the way i am feeling, I think i will lose the capacity to analyse the reason behind it TOTALLY one day. I am scared. Scared of change. Scared of the ability of not being able to adapt. Scared of the ability of not being able to accept the fact. Scared of making the wrong choice. Scared I am falling for the person. Upset because i'm scared of falling for someone who is not my ideal bf. Upset because i'm scared of falling for someone who might be wrong for me. Upset because maybe because I like him? Upset because it scares me a lot? Scared I'll get hurt again?

Life is about lessons to be learnt, barriers to overcome and many other things which I can't think of right now. But I do know that people deserve second chances if they truly realise their mistakes and tries to change or improve. We cannot punish people permanently for their previous convictions (unless it's criminal convictions la).

*Twinkle twinkle little star, how i wonder who you are** - lyrics to a S.H.E. song

Humans are so very complicated and complex. Why do we have to think so much? Maybe that's why the world evolved into such complex species. Everything has a beginning and an end. Plants grow and die. Humans born and die. Games started and phased out. The world began and one day it will end.