a much deeper meaning

Being in my profession, we don't get praise or 'thank yous' in particular unless you're especially outstanding than the rest of your colleagues. So sometimes being a teacher, you get criticised and questioned by parents, your efforts thrown out the door or sometimes you feel like you're helping the kids so much that they literally taken you for granted and what's more, give you the shits.

I've been feeling that, a bit lost and blur but I am picking up the pieces & confidence. I seem to touching my way through with decisions that I can make on my own but feel it should go through my 'ah tou' first. So all these decisions that I can take, have been impaired by being scaredof being scrutinised for the decision that I choose to make.

Nevertheless,for example, I need to make contacts with parents if the students are mucking up. I do keep my professionalism in emails to them and of most time, emails are sent out, because of negative productivity their kids have done. So, inevitably, sometimes, I get the backend of it because (1) parents believe their kids more than their teachers and think their kids failure in class is due to teacher's fault and only fault. Hello.... both the student himself and teacher has a part to play in class. But if the kid is always being a pain in the backside & the teacher has done all that he can and informs the parents, why does the blame go to them? Anyhow, I don't get the joy of emailing parents. You get parents who don't reply back, and those who do, are usually thankful for your efforts (seldom) or asking more question about this and that and questioning you this and that.

For one, today I sent out a few emails to parents whose kids didn't turn up for lunchtime "work time" ~ and effectively, their work is overdue & i contact their parents. I got 2 replies. The first reply was along the lines of lunchtime is for rest not work. I totally agree but because of the circumstances we're in, i have no choice but to use lunchtimes to get them to finish their work. Another email I received was thanking me for giving her the heads up & she said "appreciate it". Something so small as that, can have such a powerful impact on everything I've done. A small gesture like that seems to pay off (a little) of what my job is about. Although it would be more fulfilling if the kids themselves say things like that.

So I'm not feeling as down as before; but still, long and busy road to drive.... rrooomm rooom.... lol

Stop & Stare ~ every now & again, it's beautiful.